Post Traumatic Poo Disorder


Mister Flingpoo, a not so mild mannered simian citizen, is haunted by a dark traumatic past that never existed.  Or did it exist?  Cartoon characters in general seem to be gifted with the ability to warp reality in order to exist in any timeline they choose.  One week he could be in ancient Egypt or Revolutionary France the next.  A few days ago he was donning a powdered wig, complete with a mole having a conversation with an actual Mole in Victorian England.

Could it really be that what deep down is really troubling Mister Flingpoo is an existential crisis resulting from a lack of temporal continuity in his life? Is he avoiding a structured and linear rational existence for fear of the normalcy and resulting boredom that would bring? Perhaps by throwing feces in someone’s face he unconsciously compensates for deep internal feelings of lack of self recognition and expression. If this need is unchecked he could as a result fall into this stage of premature normalcy that he avoids and a resulting deep depression would follow.

Thus and ergo, it is a completely healthy urge to throw excrement if one desires to sublimate one’s internal feelings of anger and self detriment.  Allowing oneself enough space to distort reality to the extent that one one doesn’t distort the core of one’s sense of self identity is key.

Recognize the symptoms: Non Linear Existence(N.L.E. for short), making excuses for ones actions, fabricating truth in order to obscure deeper truth, poor hygiene, a diet consisting of microwave burritos and frozen pizza, explosive diarrhea and leakage.

If any of these described mannerisms should exist, contact your nearest medical doctor or psychiatrist….then fling poop at them. Apologize for your actions and make an excuse. Lather, wash, rinse and repeat.